tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26165570670580635152011-07-30T20:46:15.058-07:00maggliomannoreply@blogger.comBlogger161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-52393039978657293532009-10-05T18:33:00.002-07:002009-10-05T18:34:44.994-07:00Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-5239303997865729353?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-78394629094181541352009-10-05T18:33:00.001-07:002009-10-05T18:33:53.369-07:00Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-7839462909418154135?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-18966175052966160762009-10-05T18:32:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:33:27.399-07:00The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-1896617505296616076?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-7447424204435709362009-10-05T18:31:00.002-07:002009-10-05T18:32:47.018-07:00Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-744742420443570936?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-50397794929984630762009-10-05T18:31:00.001-07:002009-10-05T18:31:46.467-07:00Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-5039779492998463076?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-79488243851684422122009-10-05T18:30:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:31:00.852-07:00Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-7948824385168442212?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-89908509038866834212009-10-05T18:29:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:30:25.144-07:00Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-8990850903886683421?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-75649600701541559162009-10-05T18:28:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:29:44.499-07:00Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-7564960070154155916?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-76754306363990807012009-10-05T18:27:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:28:27.042-07:00We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-7675430636399080701?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-63955922788893684732009-10-05T18:25:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:27:40.576-07:00Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-6395592278889368473?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-86351060464781527742009-10-05T18:24:00.001-07:002009-10-05T18:24:38.734-07:00We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-8635106046478152774?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-89786440440298177722009-10-05T18:23:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:24:00.050-07:00Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-8978644044029817772?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-76166008998660425712009-10-05T18:22:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:23:26.128-07:00The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-7616600899866042571?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-88119327000940332942009-10-05T18:20:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:22:13.843-07:00I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-8811932700094033294?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-84801361450635278492009-10-05T18:19:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:20:20.828-07:00Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-8480136145063527849?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2616557067058063515.post-63015138255594250492009-10-05T18:12:00.000-07:002009-10-05T18:19:25.329-07:00I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2616557067058063515-6301513825559425049?l=funny-one-liner.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>maggliomannoreply@blogger.com0